Try harder

Today was kind of a rough day. I started out at work, getting my annual flu shot. Now, I'm not sure whether there's really any effect of how you feel that day; I never had really noticed anything before. But I've heard they can make you feel a little yucky.

Then I went to the doctor for a 9:30 appointment. No big deal - just making sure my prescriptions are up to date, going over test results, and the like. Blood pressure was good, previous blood work was fine. But to get ready for my next follow-up, I did have to go to the lab to update the blood work. They filled somewhere between 6 and 8 tubes - I wasn't counting, but they took some blood, no doubt about it.

So when I got back to work after lunch, I noticed something right away: I was getting a little short with people. Patience was not overflowing, as I could feel annoyance bubbling to the surface. I think being low on blood and having the remaining life fluid gunned up with a vaccine may have been getting to me. So, on to the point...

I was in a meeting with two of our other actuaries, going over some data and how we might organize it to minimize manual work. Impatience bubbled up, and the numbers on the screen were just running together. I wasn't picking up what they were putting down.

At that point, I sent up a short, silent prayer. (When you're lacking patience, "it's what you do.") I simply asked the Lord to send me a little patience and power from his Spirit. And then I felt it in my spirit - an answer from the Lord, as clear as if it were audible.

"Try harder."

And it hit me. I was letting my impatience stand in the way of my effort to really follow what I was being shown. So, with renewed energy, I started asking more questions. Specific questions. And before I knew it, three things happened: I understood what I was looking at, I provided helpful feedback, and...I felt patience starting to take over my psyche.

Now, folks, as believers we have the power of the Resurrection at our disposal. It can be released through prayer and dependence on God. But he wants us to take a step of faith. After all, Moses was instructed to move forward before the Red Sea was parted. In my case - in this case - it was simply taking a closer, slower look at the data. Actually putting forth an effort. And so I did.

And that, friends, was the highlight of the day. When we feel God working through us for his glory, it makes it all worthwhile.

I wonder how that will happen tomorrow.

Monday, Monday

Contend, O LORD, with those who contend with me;

Fight against those who fight against me. 

Take hold of buckler and shield

And rise up for my help.

- Psalm 35:1-2

Wow! What a day!

I've gotta say, I think today was the definition of a Monday. In fact, I don't really know why I'm staying up to write this post. I oughta just go to bed and start over tomorrow.

Without going into detail, it had some of everything. Time pressure. Unexpected obstacles. Meetings that ran longer than they were supposed to. Rescheduled meetings. Misunderstandings. Personality conflicts. Abrasive emails. And on and on.

There was a time today when I lifted up a prayer of exasperation. I just wanted to God to resolve it all and make my day easier. Is it worth it? Why, God, would you put me through a day like this? 

And then I went to the Psalms.

Now, that's a good thing to do when we pray. The Psalms have about every range of human emotion, and they are all expressed to God - which is the right place to go with our joys, sorrows, triumphs and frustrations. So that's where I went. Looking for just the right prayer of desperation, crying out to God for relief.

As you can see at the top, I did not find support for my whining. I found perspective.

Psalm 35 is just one of many Psalms where King David prayed to the LORD for help. For rescue from his enemies. For relief.

But unlike me, there were actually people trying to kill him. He had enemies trying to overthrow his reign on the the throne God had established. There were people attacking his character and good name. Real trouble.

Me? I had a bad day. Stress. Woe is me.

Now don't get me wrong, I believe the Psalms are there to give us the words to pray on days like this. No, nobody at my office is really my enemy. Nobody is trying to kill me, or even get me fired. I work with great people and I enjoy them all. 

But I do have enemies and they are out in force on days like this.

Satan.

My flesh.

The forces of evil.

They're trying to tear me down. They're trying to tear you down. And they would love for us to end a day lie this feeling defeated.

So we pray. We go to the Scriptures for the words to pray to a real God who is really there and has really revealed himself.

And he comes to our rescue. And that makes Monday not quite so, well....Monday-ish.

My piece of the pie

Sometimes it's just so overwhelming.

As I read this week about the persecution going on in Iraq, it makes me want to do something. I want to make it stop. All by myself.

And then I look around at all the needs in the world, and how desperately the earth's 7 billion people need hope. Hope that is found in the gospel of Jesus the Messiah.

Seven. Billion. People.

In this age of 24 hour news, social media, and rapid communication, it's hard to miss how great the need is. Children all over the world in need of basic necessities like food and clothing. War breaking out in Ukraine, Palestine, Iraq, Afghanistan with millions of civilians in the crossfire. Disease that's killing thousands and threatening to break out to kill millions. Earthquakes, hurricanes, tornados, tsunamis.

There are so many people hurting...and I sometimes feel so helpless.

So this morning when our teaching pastor compared me to a piece of pie, it was a perspective I needed.

A piece of pie? Yes. The encouragement I got from him was this: God has given me a role in redeeming his creation. But it's just a small part. When I feel like I've got to solve it all, I've got to remember that I'm just one piece of the pie, and I need to surround myself with people who have the other pieces. This is a group project.

Group project. I got a picture of this Thursday when I was helping judge an MBA contest at the University of Alabama. In the morning session, I saw 12 students making speeches, showing their talents for analyzing business problems. They were impressive. But the afternoon session was so much more impressive. The students were placed in groups of four and given a problem to solve, a company that needed to be revitalized. The group dynamic was so much more powerful, and the solutions they came up with were cool.

So why should I be discouraged? God isn't asking me to solve the world's problems all by myself. He has been working to redeem the world with a plan that has been growing for over 4,000 years, starting with Abraham, culminating in the work of Jesus during his time on earth, and continuing in the hands of his people, the church. I am a small part of that plan, a small piece of the pie.

Small, yes. But definitely a piece.

So what should I do? I believe God asks me to be content in the role he has given me, and go about it with determination and much prayer. I don't need to be wishing I could be somewhere else doing something else. If I do, I will pine away my life and miss the chance to do his kingdom work right where he has me. There is so much to be done!

So, instead of focusing on what I can't do, I will focus on what I can:

• Go to work each and look for ways to show God's love to those at my company. I can do quality work that glorifies the Creator of work, demonstrate servant leadership to my team, and love those around me even when we don't agree on things.
• Love my family with all my heart, letting them see the light of Jesus by considering their needs above my own.
• Love my friends - fellow believers - by spending time with them and building community that reflects the prayer of Jesus in John 17.
• Love strangers, and even those who oppose me. Show them extraordinary kindness. Who does this?? Well, nobody wants to. And so when I do, people can see that the gospel does make a difference in how we live.
• Find a pocket of need and pour my life into others. This is where I have to avoid getting overwhelmed - I can't reach out to and/or visit every widow and orphan in the world or help lift up all the oppressed. But that's no excuse not to reach out to any. For me, at this point in my life, it's the children of Korah in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia as well as keeping my eye out for local opportunities.
• Pray, pray, pray. This is how we can be involved where we can't reach. We have a big God.
• Share the resources that God has entrusted to me. He has done so not for my pleasure, but for his glory.

Tackling this list is  quite a challenge. But with God's help, it's something I can do. 

So thanks, Patrick, for reminding me. Instead of being frustrated about the things I want to do for God but can't, I need to do well those things God has placed right in front of me. 

Time to get to it.

The light at the end of the hall

So this week I was walking down the hall at work, toward my office. As I looked down the hall, I thought I needed sunglasses. I saw this at the end:

Now trust me, the hall was not dark. It was well lit, at the normal level during the workday. No lights were out. But compared to the light at the end of the hall...yeah, it looks pretty dark doesn't it?

The thing about that incredibly bright area is this: Just last week, it was dark. If I had taken a picture then (I wish I had), the exposure would have probably made it look like there was nothing there. You see, there was remodeling going on at that end. It used to have a desk for a telephone operator, and they have turned it into a waiting area for executive offices. While they were doing the work, there were no lights overhead. Now, they have put in the brightest lights in the building.

And I thought just before I took the picture (always thinking about my blog), this is what it's like to put your faith in Jesus. You have been walking in darkness. But when you let him take over, he remakes you, and infuses you with the brightest light in the universe.

Light and darkness. Not exactly original on my part; there are 55 verses in the Bible where both words appear together. Almost always because it's expressing the contrast. Darkness is the absence of light, and that is life with Jesus. But he came as the Light of the world, lighting us up like the end of that hall.

Here is just one of those passages:

But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for God's own possession, so that you may proclaim the excellencies of Him who has called you out of darkness into his marvelous light.

- 1 Peter 2:9, NASB, emphasis mine 

What a wonderful picture! And like the hall now, he is so bright that the rest of the hall looks dark. Nothing approaches his marvelous light. Nothing.

Richard Sherman: Between the lines

By now you have probably heard about all you want about Richard Sherman's explosive post-game interview Sunday.

You've heard the discussions about whether or not he's a thug. You've seen posts where people rushed to judge him based on one 30 second interview. You've seen posts where people defended him, pointing out his Stanford education and all the good he does in the community. You've even seen discussions of whether the reaction is symptomatic of racism.

But there's one thing he said that gave me pause. And made me think about my life. So, if you'll indulge me, just a few more words.

For those of you who have been living under a rock, here's the interview:



So, the day after the game, in reaction to a social media explosion, Sherman took the initiative to write a piece explaining himself. There was an apologetic tone, and he made some really good points about his character, who he is, and the nature of football. I think he's mostly a good guy who got caught up in the moment. But there's one quote from him that still haunts me:

(D)on't judge a person's character by what they do between the lines. Judge a man by what he does off the field, what he does for his community, what he does for his family.

There is some truth to that. Character is determined by the totality of your life, not by one segment. But here's the thing: every segment is important. Including what happens between the lines. No, don't judge just by what happens between the lines. But don't leave it out either. It matters.
_____________________________

Every day I spend about eight hours "between the lines." I work with my own team, people from other parts of the company, management, and others. And how I treat them is important. If I lose my temper with an underwriter or a marketing rep because I don't like what they're telling me, that matters. I can't say (with any credibility), "Just judge me by my work with my church…my trips to Ethiopia…the love I have for my family and friends. Ignore the fact that I treat you like dirt. This is just work. This is just between the lines."

Uh uh. Doesn't pass the smell test.

Yes, Richard. All the other is great, but between the lines is important too.

And that goes for me too. I need to let Jesus shine through me everywhere…especially work.


Are you a different person at work than you are at home? In what way? Do you think that needs to change, or is it necessary to succeed?

Finish line

"As long as it is day, we must do the works of him who sent me. Night is coming, when no one can work."    - Jesus, in John 9:4

As the middle of January is upon us, I can see the finish line approaching. Every year in January, as an actuary, I am part of a small team that has to estimate the reserves needed for claims that have not been reported - it's an important item on the financial statements and the timeline is tight. (More about that here.)

Well, there is a big meeting tomorrow and another one Friday and after that things should be back to normal. Still working hard, but on a more normal schedule.

Have you ever had something that you just wanted to get past? A trip to the doctor, a test, or yes, a big deadline at work can be like that. Or maybe an unpleasant conversation. You just want it to be over with.

Well, even though I do enjoy this work, I don't necessarily enjoy the long hours necessitated by the short deadlines. so this morning I found myself thinking, " I can't wait 'til Friday!"

But then I thought, life is short. God has put us on earth with a very limited time frame to love people, shine a light in this dark world, and bring glory to him. Amazing things for the kingdom of God could happen in the next three days. If I'm rushing through just trying to get them over with, what will I miss? And at the end of my life, will I wish I had those days back?

So, as tempting as it is to just get it over with, I'm going to try to relish these next few days. Because, relatively speaking, there aren't that many left.

Food for thought: What is it that you try to just get past? Have you ever regretted speeding past it?

In memory of Phil Richardson

You never know the influence you have on others. You just don't.

The year was 1987 and it was the biggest faith leap of my life. Through a series of events, I knew that God was leading me away from a teaching career but I didn't know exactly what he was leading me to. Then, at a lake party for a friend who was getting married, I was given a name and phone number. It was Phil Richardson of Alfa Insurance.

I gave Mr. Richardson a call, and over the next two weeks I interviewed with four different people at Alfa. After much prayer and thought, on July 9, 1987, I began my career as an actuary.

Mr .Richardson passed away this last Thursday morning, and we will be saying goodbye at a service tomorrow. As I look back over my career, I can't express how much this man did for me. He got the process started for me to begin my career as an actuary. His leadership created a successful company that God has used to bless me over and over. About two years into my career, he made the decision that the future of the actuarial function should be in the hands of this kid and supported me in every step of my growth. He gave me advice countless times (some would say his "advice" could be harsh - I never saw it that way) and taught me principles that I still quote today. He was a true leader and I will always be thankful.

But the thing I will remember most about Mr. Richardson was when he pulled me aside one day in the fall of 1996. I had just come back to work after facing the aftermath of a pool accident that claimed the life of my sister and left my niece horribly injured. I was crushed and it was hard to see how to face each day. Well, he took me in his office and confided about the way that he had lost his son to an accident almost 20 years earlier. And he told me that when I needed to, I needed to find a room, close the door, and just cry. I knew he spoke from experience, and it was incredibly moving.

That is the Phil Richardson I knew and will miss. He will stay with me in so many ways. Goodbye, Mr. Richardson.

Creation: a reminder to give

Why do we work?

You might say that it is so we can produce something that the world needs. You might say that it is to give us a sense of accomplishment. You might say that it's so we can have the chance to interact with other people on a regular basis.

You might say any one of those things, and you would be right to a degree. But most people would simply say, "So I can make money."

And that is true. But Paul said something in Ephesians that might surprise you:

Anyone who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with their own hands, that they may have something to share with those in need. (Ephesians 4:28, NIV, emphasis mine)

Interesting. Being productive is there. So is getting something out of it. But the reason for earning money? According to this Scripture, it's in order to put us in position to be generous.

It's not just an isolated passage. All through the Bible we see people of God who were blessed for one reason - so they could be a blessing. Abraham. Moses. David. Solomon.........all received incredible blessings from God but the reason was so they could be a part of his master plan.

So why are you blessed? (And make no mistake - almost everyone who reads this, especially if they're an American, is in the top echelons  or so of the world's wealth.) The Bible gives us one reason. And it so we should ask ourselves every day how we can be a blessing to someone else.

I actually got to thinking about this while reading a book by the founder of Chick-fil-A, Truett Cathy. Mr. Cathy has been blessed with an incredibly successful franchise, founded and built through hard work and adherence to Biblical principles. To share his insights, he wrote a book recently called Wealth: Is It Worth It? Here is the excerpt that got me thinking:

The whole world around us is a reminder to give. Why did God create trees? To give us shelter, fruit, timber, and oxygen. The ground, the stars, the moon, the cattle in the fields - all of them were created to give. Likewise, we were created to give. That's why we experience so much joy when we give generously.

What a wonderful picture! God has created a wonderfully rich universe. Sun, moon, stars, air, water, animals, plants...I could go on and on. Out of his infinite riches God has created everything around us in order to give, give, give. And they all scream at us, "YOU give too!"

There are so many in need. And God has blessed us with so much. In the Ephesians passage, he tells us that the reason to work is so that we will have resources to help others. May God grant us all the wisdom to follow his example, and the faith to trust that when we do so he will take care of our needs.

Fail!

It was one of those days.

Yesterday it just seemed that I was a little out of sorts at work. Just a tad off. For example, I left a cup of coffee in a colleague's office and then accused everyone of hiding it from me. Goodnaturedly , mind you, but I did throw out the idea that they were messing with me.

And then I got the message above from our scanner.

Al that happened was this. Very innocent. I got ready to scan a document and have it sent to my email. I punched in the file mane and hit the button. But it wouldn't scan. I tried it twice, and both times the machine printed out the report above.

So I charge over to our department's machine expert and ask her, Has this ever happened to you? What should I do about it? Should I call the help desk?

Um, no. Instead of calling the help desk, maybe I should just ENTER MY EMAIL ADDRESS so it'll know where to send the stinkin' file!

Oops.

Everyone in the department was roaring with laughter. It's always fun when the department head looks like a fool. Ha. Ha.

Kind of reminded me of the time when I had bad arithmetic on a staff chart. Again...oops.

I'm sure there's some sort of lesson here. Something to do with making sure you are connected to the source. But that's for another day. For now, it's enough to say that you've gotta be able to laugh at yourself, or you'll go crazy.

So laugh away...I did.

2013 - time marches on

The changing of years is an artificial thing. It just happens to be the day on a calendar when we reflect the fact that our planet has a 365-day cycle. For the Chinese calendar, a new year starts around our February. The Hebrew calendar rolls over in September. In our culture, the new year begins a few hours from now. No matter when it is, it's a chance to reflect and to look forward. And so that's what we do.

2012 was quite a year. It contained all the challenges I wrote about a year ago, and then some.

Just a few highlights:

• I broke my leg near my ankle in early February, my first broken bone ever. That was interesting. 

• There were indeed big changes at my company. I got a new boss in the middle of the year, and our president retired in December and a new one took office.

• I took a Visiting Orphans team to Ethiopia and once again my heart was moved to continue reaching out to the children there. I made new friends as part of the trip, friends who now mean a whole bunch to me.

• My niece Haley graduated from Alabama.

• My very dear Aunt Odell passed on into the Lord's eternal care. 

• I read several books that expanded my vision of what God is doing in the world and what my role should be. 

• Countless experiences with family and friends, ranging from travel to just sitting around enjoying being together. Never underestimate the significance of these.

• I could go on and on (but I won't).

It's amazing how fast that went by. It really seems like only yesterday that I was in the Superdome watching the Crimson Tide win its 14th National Championship. And now that time is upon us again. Indeed, time does march on. So, as another year arrives, what do I want 2013 to look like?

First, I acknowledge that I have no clue what God holds in store. Any planning I do will be helpful, but there will also be many surprises. That said, here are a few things I want to focus on:

• I want to make sure that my focus is on relationships and not just accomplishing tasks. I want to grow in my closeness to God of course. But also I want to develop deeper relationships with my family and friends, focusing on things that matter.

• I want to pray more. I have become more and more aware that the real results in the building of God's kingdom will be accomplished by him. I am doing work that makes a difference, but neither I nor any other human (or collection of humans) can bring about his purposes in our own power. So I want to pray more.

• I want to successfully navigate the changes as my nephew and nieces progress into adulthood. I want to always be there for them, but in ways that are helpful to them and not for my own benefit.

• I want to continue to make a difference with the children of Ethiopia, and build awareness of their needs in my world. To that end, I am going back to Addis this summer. If you want to go with me, find out how in this link: Manis Team - June/July Ethiopia

• I want to be a leader at work, bringing about God's purposes through how I treat people and the quality of work I do.

That's a handful. No way I can do it on my own. So I go back to prayer. By me and for me. Thanks in advance.

2012 was a great year...here's hoping that 2013 will be even better. Regardless, there are only a few years to work in this lifetime. Let's make the most of this one.

More than enough

Today was a day that I was not looking forward to. I was out of the office all week until today, at a conference with other insurance professionals. While I was gone, checking the email from my mobile phone did not create anticipation for today. At least not positive anticipation.

Without going into details, a few things convereged to let me know this would be stressful day:

• I already had a pretty packed schedule on the calendar for today before I even left town.
• There were two critical stratgic areas where decisions needed to be made, and it was apparent that I would be asked to commit upon my return. I needed to create time with my staff to prepare for this.
• I got several emails related to work product that was needed pronto. Knowong I would be in meetings all day made me wonder...when?

So, as I sat on the plane yesterday, two things were going on in my mind.

First, dozens of thoughts were running through my mind about the decisions and commitments that would be required. Finally, I decided to start writing those thoughts down so I wouldn't forget them. This didn't lower the stress, but it did make me feel more prepared.

Second, I was reading the book Beautiful Outlaw by John Eldredge.

As I read, I was struck by the person - and personality - of Jesus. Eldredge does a wonderful job of walking through the Gospel narrative and showing how rich the portrait being painted of Christ really is. His motive? To me it was to inspire those of us who follow Jesus to love him more.

And finally, knowing the day that I was facing, last night I asked a good friend to pray for me as it unfloded.
_____________________________

It was a tough day. It was intense. It was fast-moving and full of spirited conversations. But you know what I discovered? The God I was reading about on the plane had more than enough grace to get me through such a day. I picked up a theme phrase from my pastor last year that I think about often. For me, my goal each day is "Love Jesus, love people, and try not to do anything stupid."

Believe me, I went in to today really focused on the third goal. But my readings from yesterday, helped me accomplish it by fixing my mind more on the first one. I reminded myself throughout the day that if I'll just do that, he would help me with the others.

And he did. I believe he knew that I needed that book. And I needed to make those notes. And I needed Clark praying for me. God is so good, and he is more than enough.

Even for days like today.

Windell Neal, 1925-2012

Today I was planning to write about pop culture and some life lessons that come from them. I was going to choose between last Friday's episode of Fringe and the movie Extrmemly Loud and Incredibly Close. Both had amazing moments that moved me to share. But today something more important is on the agenda. For my first boss at Alfa, my professional mentor, my friend has gone on to his eternal reward. Windell Neal is no longer with us. I am sad for that...and thankful for his life.

A little less than twenty-four years ago I was at a crossroads. I knew God was calling me away from my three years teaching middle school math, but I didn't have any idea what was next. In a long story that I will tell in another blog post one day (if I haven't already - I need to check back), God led me to Mr. Neal at the perfect time. The perfect time for me, and the perfect time for the company. My career as an actuary began.

He gave me my first chance. He supported me as I learned what the heck I was doing. He made sure I got visibility with people here so that management would know my capabilities. And at lunch day after day after day, he gave me advice, and taught me everything he could think of about how to succeed at my career. Because of him, I began a journey that I am convinced put me right where God wanted me, in so many ways. I can't even begin to express how thankful I am.

Tomorrow we will gather at his church to say goodbye. I am honored that his widow Catherine asked me to say a few words. I feel so inadequate, but I know God will help me express how much he has meant to me all these years.

You know, we try to sum up a person's life in a short paragraph in the newspaper. Here is the one for Mr. Neal:

NEAL, Lt Col Windell W., US Air Force (Ret) died on 24 January 2012 after an extended illness. He was 86 years of age. Lt Col Neal entered the Armed Forces during World War II and also served in Vietnam. He served for 27 years at various assignments in the United States and in other stations overseas. While on active duty, he attended the Air War College at Maxwell AFB, Alabama. Subsequent to his retirement, he elected to reside in Prattville, Alabama. He is survived by his loving wife, Catherine, of 31 years. He has 5 children by a previous marriage, Stephen Neal, Atlanta, Georgia, Sheila Neal, Houston, Texas, Joyce Spivey, Montgomery, Alabama, Gail Hayes (Bill) Georgia, Carolyn Dasinger (Jim), Montgomery, Alabama, Surviving grandchildren, Bill Hayes (Washington,DC, Benjamin Dasinger (Montgomery), Ashley and Elizabeth Dasinger, also of Montgomery. Windell is also survived by 2 stepdaughters, Cherie (Clifton) and Jennifer (Jim), both of Prattville. Also surviving is step granddaughter, Stefani Wiley (Jamie), Prattville, Alabama. Windell has been an active member of the First United Methodist Church of Prattville for many years. In lieu of flowers, contributions may be made in his memory to the Church. A memorial service will be held, Friday, January 27, 2012 at 10:00 AM, First Methodist Church, Prattville.

No, obituaries don't do a man justice. My life is totally different because of this one. Thank you, Mr.Neal. I'll miss you.

Random signs around the office

I look at things weird. Or, I guess to get the grammar right, weirdly. If you're around me much, you'll here reference to ridiculously silly puns. So here are two observations about signs at my work place:

This sign is displayed in the mornings as we enter the office, to point out that we are required to swipe our security badge as we go through the door. So here's my question: If this is required at all times, when are we supposed to get our work done? Yeah, I know...haha.
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And then there is this pair of signs, on opposite sides of the same door - an exit door from our cafeteria:

Outside of door

Inside of door

So, once again a question: If this door is only for exits, why should the people walking out have to open it slowly? I guess that means we expect people to ignore the "exit only" sign, and so we need to be careful opening the door in case someone is on the other side trying to enter. Despite the sign.

Either that or we're just being careful.

Just random observations...yeah, I look at things weird. ly.

2012 - Bring it on

New Years' Day is one holiday that I have never seen as a huge deal. I mean, it's fun because I grew up watching lots of college football that day. And my mom would make sure I ate blackeyed peas. And everyone would remind me that it was a time to look forward and make resolutions about what you would do better the next year.

But I pretty much saw that last point as artificial - it's just when the calendar changes, but we can work on changing our lives any day of the year, right? And most of us never follow through on our resolutions. But as 2011 ends and I look forward to the next year, I have come to realize that we need milestones to order our lives. They help us reflect not he things we need to remember and to refocus our priorities for the future. Yes, we can do that every day, but there's something about a milestone that increases our focus. With that in mind, here are some thought on this milestone.

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I don't think it was a coincidence that my Scripture reading this morning was Joshua 1.

In this passage, Joshua was ending a period of transition, and big things war about to unfold. He had followed his leader Moses around in the desert for 40 years; God had freed his people from slavery years ago and now they were ready to enter the land He had promised them. But Moses wasn't around to lead them anymore...so Joshua was going to have to do it. What a daunting task for such a young man! A young man who, judging by the number of times he had to be told to be "strong and courageous", was  conservative, non-assertive, and prone to  hesitation.

But God made promises to him. He promised that he would go before him, go with him, and give him success at the thing he was being asked to do. What did Joshua have to do? He had to be strong and courageous, study the Word, and be obedient.

So as enter 2012, I feel in a lot of ways like Joshua must have. In alot of ways, 2011 was a year of transition and preparation for me. The previous year had brought changes in my life, especially as God had used my niece Brooke to introduce me to a passion for the people of Ethiopia and for orphans. How was I to apply that? Also, multiple changes began to take place at work, as some great leaders neared the end of their careers and the company began to focus on what the future might look like under new leadership. And of course, there was the tragedy of the April tornadoes and how that brought the need to share God's love with hurting people so much closer to home than just Africa.

So, I stand at the cusp of 2012 feeling alot like Joshua. 2011 was somewhat like the time in the desert: learning to obey God while waiting for him to bring some things into focus.

• I went to Africa for the second time and worked alongside some wonderful young people from Pennsylvania. I feel that God used this confirm his calling for me to take a leadership role in taking some young people from a ministry called TheTransMission over this summer. (If you are a high school senior and interested in that opportunity, check out this link: TheTransMission to Africa 2012.)
• Several major retirements in our company have been announced and a vision for the future has been scoped out. I won't lie, this is, at the same time, kind of scary and exciting. Much like standing on the edge of Canaan and wondering, "Can I do this?" There will be change, and in the change will be lots of chances to be dependent on God.
• Among my nieces and nephews whom I love so much, at least two of them will be finishing education and moving into the "real world". Will God have a role for me in helping them make the transition? And how will my life change?

Yes, I can see that 2012 will be a year when great strength and courage will be required. I will need to stay connected to the Source. I will need to make hard decisions and be ready to withstand adversity. And I will need to stand up and be a leader so that Christ can be glorified at work, in Africa, among the young people he is preparing to go to Africa, and in my family.

Am I up to the challenge? No. Stinking. Way. Neither was Joshua. But the One who commanded him to go was. And he still is today.

2012 - Bring it on.

Crazy Don

“I the LORD do not change. So you, the descendants of Jacob, are not destroyed." (Malachi 3:6)

Wednesday afternoon about 2:30. Am moment that I'm sure led my staff to think, "What the heck?"

I was in transition from one meeting with some higher management to another. The problem was this: The first meeting had run overtime and (to my dismay) I had decided to print some stuff for the second meeting between meetings. Yep, that was my own fault and yes it was because I am a world-class procrastinator.

So there I was, charging back to my office to print the exhibits. But when I had sent the print job, I realized that in my haste I had printed the whole 10 page document instead of the single page I wanted. 11 copies. So there I was printing 110 pages instead of the eleven I intended.

Wasted paper. And having to wait for that many pages to print. All while the other meeting was starting.

Yeah, I panicked. I stormed around telling everybody what I had done, and how frustrated I was. It must have been quite a sight...especially for our new staff member who had been there less than a week. "What have I gotten myself into??"

Everyone else was calm, a staff member offered to sort the exhibits and bring me the page I needed, and everything was ok. Of course. When I got back from the meeting I informed everyone that "crazy Don" was gone and "normal Don" was back.
___________________

The next morning I was reading a devotional from Max Lucado. The theme was God's unchanging nature and he made this point:

Catch God in a bad mood? Won't happen. Fear exhausting his grace? A sardine will swallow the Atlantic first...He's never sullen or sour, sulking or stressed. His strength, truth, ways, and love never change.

 The more I know about God, the more aware you are of how short I fall. I am so glad that my Creator is not like me. Yes, there is a crazy Don and a normal Don. I like to think people can count on me, but I have moods. Not God. His unchanging character is something we can all count on. For all eternity. And that's something to be excited about.

Well, this is different

Ok, well I'm used to going to these things. Actuarial conferences - full of other math geeks like myself who analyze risk. In this case, we all work for Farm Bureau insurance companies, so we can exchange ideas, get continuing education credit, and yes...have some fun. (Yes, actuaries can have fun.)

But the thing is that I'm usually a guest at these things. Today, we arrived a day early so that we could unload and set up all the registration bags. Those things are supposed to just, you know, be here when I arrive. Somebody has to this work?

Yes, they do. At every conference I attend. People make reservations, set up dinners, arrange activities and speakers, line up sponsorships, and yes, arrive early to do work. And they spend the whole conference worrying about whether it's meeting up to everyone's expectations.

But I don't usually think about that. Because until it's my turn, I am a victim of the self-centered thinking that is so common in the human race. If it doesn't affect me, I don't think about it.

From now on I'll know. I'll think about all the work that's done so I can have a successful conference and yes, have a good time. And I will be more thankful.

In the meantime, I wouldn't mind some prayers that it goes smoothly. We're just getting started.

One of those days

There I sat at my desk, responding to an email. Just to my left, the was scattering of coffee beans all over the floor of my office. And then a co-worker walked in and had a little something to say about it. But...let me back up.

This morning I woke up a little late and had to scramble to get ready for work. Not unusual. I left with plenty of margin for getting to work on time - and by " plenty" I mean maybe five minutes. As I backed out of the driveway and then put my car in drive, there was the warning light on my dashboard: Check tire pressure. I pushed a couple of buttons and saw on my display that the tire pressure in my right rear tire was only 4 psi. Not good - that's pretty much a flat tire. Dang!

To make a long story sho...well, not quite so long, I pulled over and started to change the tire. A neighbor came by and offered for me to use their portable air pressure device, and - yay! - it worked for me. I had a slow leak so I was able to put enough air in the tire to get to the shop. They found a nail in it, plugged it, and I was off. An hour and a half late for work, but hey, at least I got there.

When I got to work, I found a plethora of frustrations waiting for me. (That's right, I said "plethora". I don't get to use that word much.)  There was a 10:00 meeting coming up and I was not anywhere close to being prepared for it. I had been trying to set up and afternoon meeting and I was discovering that almost nobody who I needed to be there was going to be - which was going to affect my whole week if I couldn't find an alternative. I then stuck my head in a colleague's office to discuss a matter and, well, got my head bit off. When I got back to my office, the the carafe was out of coffee. Nooooo!

(Side note: I make my own coffee at work. Not because I'm cheap, but because I'm a coffee snob. I have a grinder so I literally grind the beans right before brewing. Sometimes I even do French press coffee.)

You can guess. This kind of stuff just happens on days like this. I got the canister with the beans out and as I was opening it, lost my grip. Idid manage to catch it before it hit the ground, but in the process I spilled a fair number of beans. As I was getting ready to clean up, I glanced over and saw an email that required my attention. Ok - email first, beans next.

And then one of our other actuaries walked in and he knew everything that had already happened. He roared with laughter and blurted out, "Your day sux!"

Thanks, Kevin. Yeah, that about sums it up. Can I do a reset?

But I did make the coffee. And it was pretty dang good.

Homework

It's been a few days since I've posted...anyone notice that? Well, it's not for a lack of interesting material, funny happenings, or controversial topics. (It's certainly not from the latter...plenty of that around!) It's just this - the time I've spent on here lately needs to be - at least temporarily - devoted to the most dreaded word in the English language. That's right...homework.

So that's right, all my high school and college friends who follow this blog - you can laugh at me now. I. Have. Homework. Not work that do by taking my laptop home so I can get away from the office. Not working extra hours. Homework. As in a reading assignment. And questions that I have to fill out and turn in.

So this is the book. I know I'll get alot out of it and I'll learn some things that will help me do my part to make our company serve people better. And next week I'll actually get to hear the author speak. Should be interesting.

In the meantime, back to my homework. And of course, filling out my NCAA bracket. A man's gotta have priorities.

Are you ready for this?

So here I am, having ended another late night at the office.  Tonight it was so late that I missed chior rehearsal.  Stinks, right?  Not so fast.

I love my job for a variety of reasons.  I work with people I like, both inside and outside my department.  My company has an environment where living out my faith is encouraged.  I love being an actuary, because I'm a math geek and also I enjoy trying to come up with successful business strategy.  I have a great boss.   (Lest you think this to be brown-nosing, I should point out that I don't think he even knows this blog exists.)  And most of all, it's where God has placed me and he knew exactly what he was doing.

Don't get me wrong; I don't love it so much that I want to spend 60-70 hours a week working.  I am so not a workaholic.  I believe that balance in life is important.  Yes, do everything with 100% effort as to the Lord, but that doesn't 100% of your time. To me, it means give work, family, friends, and ministry your best whenever you're there.

But this is a time of year when I know those long days and Saturdays will happen. There is work to be for year-end financials that require the actuary's skills, and the time frame to get this work done is very short. So I know way ahead of time that, for about three weeks, it's gonna be like this.  And that's ok.  Because I know it and can prepare myself.  Because I take some time off around Christmas for bowl games and such. (Yes, I guess that can actually make it harder.)  And, mostly, because (GEEK ALERT!) this type  of work is fun.

The work is seasonal.  And so is life.

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens. (Eccesiastes 3:1)

Are you ready for the seasons?  We all will go through fun times, hard times, boring times, exciting times, love, laughter, tragedy, and so on. Most of them are unexpected: sometimes ebbing and flowing like the tides, and sometimes in sudden bursts like a tidal wave or hurricane.  But some you can be ready for.  If you can prepare, it's much easier to go with the flow and even savor the moments good and bad.

I was prepared for this season, so I can even enjoy the extra work.  And I do.  What about the other seasons of life - how can I prepare for the unexpected?  The only thing I know to do is to stay connected to the One who does know the plan.  So...time to pull out that Bible.  Later, dudes.

Oh the irony...

An old man turned ninety-eight
He won the lottery and died the next day
It's a black fly in your Chardonnay
It's a death row pardon two minutes too late
And isn't it ironic... don't you think

(Ironic, Alanis Morissette)

Let me tell you a story.  There once was an actuary who had worked at the same company for 23 years.  Over those 23 years, he had worked hard to build a rep.  It was his hope that people would think of him as hard working.  Fun. Compassionate. A decent communicator.  A good department head.  Someone who makes his boss look good.  But more than anything else, he expected that people would think he was good at math.

Why would he think that?  Well, if you didn't check out the link on the word actuary above, here's the short version: an actuary is a math geek who analyzes risk - usually for insurance.  That's right, a math geek.  So yeah, an actuary should be good at math.

Ok, now...check out the picture at the top of this post.  Look at it real close.  That's right -- at the bottom it says, "800 / 400 = 4.0".  WHAT?????


Our actuary used this chart in a presentation this morning.  In front of his boss, you ask?  Yes.  In front of his staff?  Oh yeah.  In fact, it was part of a presentation he was making to his company's monthly staff meeting -- an audience of over 100!  Yep...over 100.

So how ironic is that?  An actuary, whose primary job description is doing complex math, messes up a simple arithmetic calculation in front of everyone.  In writing!  No way to cover THAT up!


Well, by now I'm sure you've guessed that I'm the actuary.  It was pretty embarrassing.  Still is.  The only saving grace is the fact that I'm such a ham, and I'm always looking for chances to entertain.  So I latched on to the irony and commented, "There's nothing worse than an actuary who's bad at math."


There really isn't, is there?  As a pastor who did our staff devotional commented at breakfast, "It's like a preacher messing up reading John 3:16." But I am good at math.  I really am.  (Macy, don't stop asking me questions about your calculus!)


But sometimes, you just have to laugh.  Isn't it ironic?