Done

Done.

It can be the most dangerous word in the English language. With this one word, you can slam the door on relationships with a chilling finality.

Sometimes we say it out loud, with venom, and follow up on it. I have seen many relationships, both within families and among friends, that ended when one or both people decided that the hurt was too great to forgive. Some healed eventually, and some continue to this day.

More often, we say it to ourselves, for offenses both large and small:

Someone speaks to us unkindly...done!
Someone takes advantage of us financially...done!
Someone betrays our trust...done!
Someone hurts our feelings on Facebook…done!
Someone leaves us to do all the work...done!
Someone fails to call us back a few times...done!
Someone hurts someone we care about...done!
Someone embarrasses us in front of our boss...done!

You could probably add a hundred more without breaking a sweat. We are imperfect people and we hurt each other, and whether it's intentional often doesn't matter to us.

And whether we follow up on our internal outburst or not, we see the spirit of unforgiveness crouching at the door of our hearts every time we perceive that someone has wronged us. I know I do. Done...at least for a while.

We want to know how much we are supposed to endure. Peter came to Jesus and basically asked him, How many times do I have to forgive before I can say "done!"? (Matthew 18:21-23) And the answer Jesus gave was hard to swallow; our fragile egos crave a limit for having to endure pain.

When I think of all the times the word done has crossed my lips, I am overwhelmed with the love, mercy and forgiveness of God for me. No matter how many times I hurt him, he is waiting for me to return with open arms, extending infinite love. When you have some time, go read the book of Hosea in the Bible. In that book, the prophet Hosea's marriage is used an as illustration of God's unfailing love. God was heartbroken at how far his people had strayed from him, but the book ends with a declaration that he is always there, loving them and waiting for them to return to a rich relationship with him.

And then there is the ultimate statement by God that he is not done with me...

We take offense so easily. But even for the big ones, the ones where everyone can understand our bitterness, this strikes me: No matter how I have been mistreated, abused, ignored, or betrayed, God's Son endured that and worse on my behalf. He came from infinite glory to endure the shame of death, even death on a cross. And as he did it, he cried out for his Father to forgive the ones who were doing it. He never said, "Done!"

Oh, wait a minute...yes he did. Just before breathing his last breath, he cried out, "It is finished!" (John 19:30) Or, translated loosely, "Done!"

The ultimate sacrifice for my sin...done!
The dominion of darkness over this world...done!
The punishment that I deserve....done!
The power of death and the grave...done!

And because his grace and mercy are so limitless, he calls us to the same. Because the debt we have been forgiven is so massive, we must forgive the smaller debts that our friends, family, and yes, even enemies owe us.

Because he said, "Done!" to sin and death, I have the power to stop saying it to others. May it be so.

Really? That was me?

What a strange day. I consider myself pretty flexible, pretty laid back. I strive to be the kind of person who is not easily angered. I know that I'm not capable of that on my own, but most days through the power of the Spirit I'm even-keeled.

Today was not one of those days.

Twice I found myself getting really...really...irritated. Yeah, I'd say even angry. I wish I could say it was over something important. Or righteous anger. Or even just understandable.

Nope. Trivial stuff, stuff that I should just let go. But for some reason, it was easy to get under my skin.
___________________________

Today was a stark reminder of something that I know - just how dark the human heart is and how much we need mercy and grace. The heart is the cradle of all sorts of negative crud that messes up families, friendships, marriages, and, well, relationships. I'm reminded of in so many places:

• Jesus said, "What comes out of man, that defiles a man. For from within, out of the heart of men, proceed evil thoughts, adulteries, fornications, murders, thefts, covetousness, wickedness, deceipt, lewdness, an evil eye, blasphemy, pride, foolishness." (Mark 7:20-22)
• My pastor John Ed Mathison, now retired, used to say that when you bump a person holding a glass of water, guess what spills out. That's right - water. The thing that spills out of us when we're "bumped" (like I was today) is what's already inside.
• Paul wrote in Romans 7:15, "For what I am doing, I do not understand. For what I want to do, that I do not practice; but what I hate, I do."
• And similar to Paul, the character Merle Dixon on The Walking Dead, reflecting on a life of regret, anger, and self-centered decisions, said, "I don't know the reasons for the things that I do. Never did. I'm a d--- mystery to me." (Episode 3.15, 2013, "This Sorrowful Life")

Merle

The fact is, if I'm going to avoid days like today, I'm going to need help. I'm a mystery to me too. I can't do it alone, because there's too much natural rottenness. As Paul wrote later in Romans 7 (verses 24-25), "O wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? I thank God - through Jesus Christ our Lord."

That's my only hope. But I am so thankful that... It. Is. Enough.

The best revenge

Do not repay anyone evil for evil…Do not take revenge my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written, "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," says the Lord…Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

- Romans 12:17,19,21 

It's a sign of trust, a huge sign of trust. All of us have been hurt. Hurt deeply. People have wronged us, mistreated our loved ones, made our lives miserable. It's natural to want to get back at them. But Jesus called his followers to be different. We are to overcome evil with good, and trust God to take care of justice. And that takes a lot of trust.

But even greater, Jesus showed us that love and mercy is a powerful force that can change the world. His people, the descendants of Abraham, expected the Messiah to come and bring his kingdom with military might. But he surprised them. Instead of wrath, he came with love. Instead of power, he came with sacrifice. And in doing so, he changed the entire course of history.

How powerful is that message? Check out this scene from a popular TV show, Person of Interest. The cop in this scene, Lionel Fusco, has found the person who murdered his partner and friend. Furthermore, he has in his past a tendency to take justice into his own hands without any effect on his conscience. Everything about him screams that he will now take his revenge. Watch what happens:



Mercy is a powerful force. This man's friend Joss Carter changed him before she was shot down in cold blood. She showed him a better way. And because of her influence and example, he was able to walk away.

I submit that this is the power of God's kingdom permeating our world. Because of one man who lived, died, and was raised from the dead, the things he taught us are resonating throughout society, even in places where they don't acknowledge him as Lord.

So, when I am mistreated or someone does something terrible to me or those I love, I need to remember two things. First, Jesus calls me to show mercy, trusting our Father to take care of it. And second, when I do that, I unleash the power of God into the world. Like Fusco, there may be someone somewhere who is changed because of that mercy. And it grows, and grows, and grows.

Good springing forth out of evil. That is the best revenge of all.


What would you have done in Fusco's situation? Do you think mercy and forgiveness really changes the world? Or do you think it just let's people get away with stuff? Why?

Keep me on the path please....thanks

Accountability. It's not a word we like, is it? We live in an individualistic society. Each one of us must carve his own path...set his own standards...worship God his own way. I don't need you to tell me how I'm supposed to live.

And we often quote the New Testament in support of this. We like to find every passage that tells us not to judge. But I came across a passage tonight that shows how I (and maybe you?) have a tendency to pick out the ones I like and discard the ones I don't.

The context is something pretty distasteful. There was some sexual immorality in the church of Corinth and it's clear the people and leaders were ignoring it. "Live and let live." Who am I to judge?" And so on...

Here's the chapter in its entirety. Read it slowly, maybe twice. Read it for context, trying not to take individual verses out of context:

It is actually reported that there is sexual immorality among you, and of a kind that even pagans do not tolerate: A man is sleeping with his father’s wife. And you are proud! Shouldn’t you rather have gone into mourning and have put out of your fellowship the man who has been doing this? For my part, even though I am not physically present, I am with you in spirit. As one who is present with you in this way, I have already passed judgment in the name of our Lord Jesus on the one who has been doing this. So when you are assembled and I am with you in spirit, and the power of our Lord Jesus is present, hand this man over to Satan for the destruction of the flesh, so that his spirit may be saved on the day of the Lord. Your boasting is not good. Don’t you know that a little yeast leavens the whole batch of dough? Get rid of the old yeast, so that you may be a new unleavened batch—as you really are. For Christ, our Passover lamb, has been sacrificed. Therefore let us keep the Festival, not with the old bread leavened with malice and wickedness, but with the unleavened bread of sincerity and truth. I wrote to you in my letter not to associate with sexually immoral people—not at all meaning the people of this world who are immoral, or the greedy and swindlers, or idolaters. In that case you would have to leave this world. But now I am writing to you that you must not associate with anyone who claims to be a brother or sister but is sexually immoral or greedy, an idolator, slanderer, a drunkard or swindler. Do not even eat with such people. What business is it of mine to judge those outside the church? Are you not to judge those inside? God will judge those outside. “Expel the wicked person from among you.”

 [ 1 Corinthians 5:1-13, NIV]

What are we to make of this as we try to live life in community with each other and with the Messiah Jesus, who came to bring God's love and mercy? 

Than answer is pretty clear: We have taken the judging commands way out of context. Instead of a one dimensional view of judging, we can see from the entirety of God's word that:

• Judgment belongs to God, so the standard should always come from God rather than our opinions. Cheating, lying, oppressing the poor, sex outside of marriage, jealousy, hatred, racism...the list goes on. These things are not to be a part of the Kingdom and it is the right thing to say so. Paul did, in several places. So did Jesus.

• There is no point for a follower of Jesus to hammer nonbelievers about these things. Why should we expect them to adhere to a code of behavior that they have not signed up for? Jesus didn't come to give the world a set of rules. He came to change hearts. Even the passage above says, "What business is it of mine to judge those outside the church?" We are to love people and invite them to a relationship with Christ.

• But as a community who have come together to be the body of Christ, we are to hold each other accountable. It is the loving thing to do and we need to have the courage to do it. Within a community of believers who profess Jesus, the statement "Don't judge me, it's none of your business" should not exist. In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus gives us instructions on how to settle wrongs between Christians, and gives us a warning to work on our own sin before we do so. It's clear that he wants us to build each other up by holding each other accountable. And of course there's the example from the passage above.

• Finally, and most important, I need to open my heart to the correction of my fellow believers. Can I do that with you right now? Keep me on the path please. When I stray, when you see things in my life that do not bring glory to God, please help me. I need you. And if you are earnestly seeking to follow Jesus, you need it too. 

It's time for a new attitude in the 21st century church - one where we welcome and even solicit correction. Using a few isolated Scriptures about judging to tell people to leave me alone serves no one - not God, not my neighbor, and not me. If we are to change the world, we need to let the Gospel change us...and we need each other for that.

[ For more, check out this article from Relevant Magazine - good stuff!]

Iron Man 3 - demons

"We create our own demons." - Tony Stark, Iron Man 3

For me, the summer movie season officially opened this weekend with the release of Iron Man 3. A blockbuster with action, explosions, humor, and all the things we guys expect from our summer movies.

This one was a good start. It was fun, fast-paced (although in my opinion the climactic action scene ran a little longer than it should have), tense, and had an interesting storyline. And yes, it even made me think a little.

 The line quoted at the top of the page was from the opening narration. It refers directly to one night in 1999 when Stark (played by Robert Downey, Jr.) made a couple of choices that led directly to the mayhem that takes place over the following two hours. Both of them, depicted in the opening scene, were dismissive of others and obviously festered over the next 14 years. It refers more indirectly to the heroic choice Stark made in New York (and thus is intertwined with last summer's The Avengers) that saved the world but left him with anxiety issues.

I believe we all can identify with Stark's dilemma. How many times have I mistreated someone, either by being dismissive, short, angry, or condescending? Sometimes even with good intentions. Those choices affect relationships, shape people's lives, and have consequences. Granted, for you and me the consequences are unlikely to affect the fate of the whole world. But they affect our world...and they affect the worlds of those around us.

Yes, there is a devil and there are demons - Jesus said so. But there are also "demons" in the figurative sense that can be just as destructive. So when they come back to haunt me, I don't think I should be quite so quick to blame forces beyond my control. Like Stark, I should look in the mirror and see what I have done to create them.

And then face them.

And that's where the redemptive love of the Father through Jesus the Messiah comes in. He forgives and showers us with mercy. He will not remove all the consequences for us, but he will give us the power to face them and bring us through. And help us to stop creating them.

There was a lot of power available to Iron Man in his fight to put the genie back in the bottle. Gadgets, suits, technology. There is even more power available to us. And so our demons do not have a chance.

And oh...a tip. If you go to see Iron Man 3 (and I recommend that you do), don't leave before the credits are done like 2/3 of the people did tonight. Good grief people, have you never seen a Marvel Comics movie before?? Nope, you don't want to miss the last scene - "See, I have told you." (Matthew 28:7)

Enjoy!

Rant

OK, I'm tired of something...and fortunately for me, I have a blog. So I can get it off my chest. Here goes...

I am tired of "change the subject" arguments when it comes to controversial debates about truth. You know what I mean. You make a statement about a controversial issue such as violence in media, abortion, or God's standards for sexual purity and you get this: "How can you waste your time worrying about that when there is oppression and poverty in the world? Get your priorities straight."

Here's a news flash: It's possible to care about BOTH! God created us human beings with a remarkable capacity of multitasking. And we can multitask obedience to God as well. I can work for social justice, rebuilding the lives of the poor, caring for widows and orphans AND proclaim God's standard for marriage, respect for life, the all-sufficiency of Jesus' death and resurrection and many other issues. All at the same time. Shocking, I know.

Really, this shouldn't surprise us. All through the Hebrew Scriptures (aka, the Old Testament) God told his people to care for the alien, the widow, the orphan, the poor, and the oppressed. And he also told them to tear down idols, worship him only, be sexually pure, tithe, and respect life. They were expected to do it all.

When Israel was taken into captivity, there was tremendous pressure on Daniel and his friends to conform to the new culture.  But just because there was a new government, God hadn't changed. They said in effect, like Martin Luther did centuries later, "Here I stand. I can do no other, so help me God."

Imagine if you came home and your wife asked whether you had picked up milk at the grocery store. "No, honey, but how can you care about that? There is oppression in the world - focus on that rather than me taking care of my family." Would that fly? I don't think so. And it doesn't with God either.

Listen to Jesus:

Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You give a tenth of your spices - mint, dill and cumin. But you have neglected the more important matters of the the law - justice, mercy, and faithfulness. You should have practiced the latter, without neglecting the former. (Matthew 23:23, NIV, emphasis mine)

Yes, those things are important. As Christ-followers we must invest our time, effort, and resources in reaching out to those who are downtrodden. It's the right thing to do. But we also must reverence the one true God and resist efforts to change our beliefs to fit our culture. The two positions are not mutually exclusive.

So say you disagree with me. Let's have a spirited debate. But let's not change the subject when we do. Justice, mercy, and faithfulness are critical. And so is a right view of God. To him be the glory forever and ever. Amen.

From weeping to rejoicing

Herod was furious when he realized that the wise men had outwitted him. He sent soldiers to kill all the boys in and around Bethlehem who were two years old and under, based on the wise men's report of the star's first appearance. Herod's brutal action fulfilled what God had spoken through the prophet Jeremiah, "A cry was heard in Ramah - weeping and great mourning.Rachel weeps for her children, refusing to be comforted, for they are dead." (Matthew 2:16-18, NLT)

Can you imagine? Can you imagine the grief, the devastation, the utter despair that must have been felt by the mothers of those children? Unfortunately, we can all imagine it just a little better today than we could have four short days ago. Because we have seen it on TV, as we've watched in horror the scenes from Sandy Hook Elementary School and its community. There is nothing more heartrending than the death of children, and when it's deliberate, cold-blooded, and totally senseless, that makes it so much worse. I know all our prayers tonight are with those families and their friends.

The fact that it occurred during the Christmas season does not make it any more horrible, but I think it some ways it may seem so. This is the season of celebrating childhood and its innocence, and that has been cruelly ripped away from the people close to Sandy Hook forever. Maybe that's part of why it struck me. It struck me that a devastating tragedy - an eerily similar one - was part of the circumstances surrounding the birth of Jesus.

You know what happened, but there's a good chance that you've never attached yourself to it emotionally. Because it was so long ago. In a foreign land. Happening to people you know nothing about.

So can you imagine? As you think about Sandy Hook, sure you can. Believe it or not, the numbers are probably similar, according to this source which extrapolates the probable number of deaths at around 20 based on the population of Bethlehem. Around twenty children murdered - not by a deranged madman but by an intentional act of the government. Chilling...and heartbreaking.

So how do we make sense of it all? Where do we find our comfort in times like these (and those)?

After this interview [with Herod] the wise men went on their way. And the star they had seen in the east guided them to Bethlehem. It went ahead of them and stopped over the place where the child was. When they saw the star, they were filled with joy! (Matthew 2:9-10)

Filled with joy. Unbeknownst to them, as they left to see the child Herod was setting in motion his evil plot. They rejoiced because, whatever else was going to happen, the promised King had been born.

This is the one who was coming to fulfill the promises made to mankind throughout history through his people Israel. One day, all the evil in the world would be defeated. One day, God would reign as king over the world. One day, he would come to rescue people from the world's system, the forces of evil, and their own corrupt selves.

It wouldn't be by force. It would be through suffering, through a cross that defeated death and sin, and a resurrection demonstrating his power and his plan to free us all from death. But make no mistake, he came to reign over the world and it is his.

It's hard to understand why bad things happen. Why is suffering part of God's plan to bring his kingdom on earth, spreading justice, grace, and mercy? Why did children have to die as part of the Messiah's entry into the world? Why is there still so much suffering today?

I confess: I don't know. But I do know the God who is over all and loves us so much, and I trust him. I know that through all the pain in my life he has been right there, extending love and mercy and comfort. I know that he has a plan so big I can't even begin to fathom it.

And I know that's the message of Christmas - it's why the wise men rejoiced. Maybe we needed to know the horror of Herod's action to understand that Jesus' mission was not about providing easy answers. It's about love coming down to suffer in our place, bringing joy not instead of suffering, but in the midst of it.

Joy to the world! Let earth receive her King!

A tradition

Tonight I continued a fairly new tradition. This is the third year that I've made a point of experiencing Andrew Peterson's Behold the Lamb of God. It is the most amazing thing. Through music, it tells the entire story of history - the story of Jesus who came to rescue us as God had promised. I can't put into words how he does it, although I took a shot two years ago. A weak shot.

What I do know is this: It is now an essential part of the Christmas season for me. When it ends, I feel I can celebrate the birth of the King of kings with the right perspective on why he came. That's the brain part. But I also am standing there in awe of the One who created me, loved me, and came to rescue me. That's the heart part. Combined, there's nothing left to do but worship.

This year, the fact that jumped out at me was that it was the God of Israel who came in the person of Jesus to fulfill the promise of the Passover for all people. And as I realized that, I could hear myself praying along with the children of Israel,

Lord, let your judgment passover us

Lord, let your love hover near

Don't let your sweet mercy passover us

Let this blood cover over us here

As you celebrate the season, may you experience the joy of knowing that, through the Messiah Jesus, God's judgment can pass over you, leaving nothing but his mercy and love.

3 am and thankful

I have never been more thankful for the mercy of God. I am unbelievably grateful that Jesus came to bear the penalty for my sin.

And why now? Well, it's simple. It's because I've never felt more keenly what the agony of hell must be like. As I lay here in my bed for the last three hours, my tooth has been throbbing with pain. I have taken as much pain medication as safety permits, and it still hurts. Bad. I really can't remember experiencing anything like this. And so of course I can't sleep.

I normally wouldn't burden you guys with this - and that's not my intent. Rather, I want to share what I have been thinking about while trying to sleep. So here it is: I started thinking about whether I could bear this until Monday, when my dentist can see me. And my next thought was, well, of course I can - 'cause what if it wasn't 'til Monday, but forever? What if there were no dentist, no remedy, nothing but pain, pain pain? Forever?

Of course, a throbbing tooth is only a fraction of what hell would be like. And 36 hours is only a fraction of eternity. But it's enough to get my attention. More than enough.

And so I am doing my best to turn this agony into a positive. Instead of dwelling on how long it is 'til Monday, I'm focusing on how soon Monday is compared to eternity. And I am thankful that because of Christ, I don't have to worry about that.

Thank you, Father!

What comes around...

Years and years ago, in what seems like another life, before I had ever even heard of what an actuary was, I was a teacher. A middle school math teacher for three years. Does anybody even remember that far back? Somebody did.

Last week I was driving home after work and a couple of errands. I entered I-85 from Taylor Road using the circular ramp, and saw a motorcycle cop sitting there. Ok.

About a half mile down the road, I looked in my rear view mirror and there he was, blue lights a-flashing. I looked down at my speedometer, and nope, I wasn't speeding. (I'll pause a moment for the collective shock out there to wear off.) Why was he pulling me over?

As I rolled down the window, the officer walked up and said in a loud voice, "Donnie Manis!" It was the sound of someone greeting an old friend, not someone who was about to send you to jail...or cost you alot of money.

Well, it turns out that this policeman was in one of my math classes way back then. He was surprised to learn that I was not still teaching. So after catching up on old times a little, I asked what I had done wrong. It turns out that I had somehow forgotten to renew my tag in June, and so he stopped me for not having an up-to-date sticker. Oops.

And then he said this to me, and this is the crux of this post: "You gave me a break a couple of times on tests when you could have failed me, so I'm going to give you a break today." No ticket, just an admonition to get the tag updated ASAP. (I did the next day, and you can see the evidence in the photo at the top of the post.)

One other funny thing about the incident. I wasn't sure whether the I had failed to pay the tag or just forgot to put the sticker on - yes, I am that absent minded. So he offered to look it up for me and invited me to go back to his motorcycle and see for myself. Before you know it, a police car pulled up, lights flashing, and parked behind us. I learned something: Since drivers are not supposed to get out of their cars when stopped, my standing there with the officer was a signal to the other one that there might be trouble. So there I was, pulled over, with a motorcycle, a car, and two policemen. I was sure somebody I knew would drive by and think I was in BIG trouble. Fortunately, that didn't happen.
_________________

How do you treat people every day? You know, I have no idea what I did specifically that this young middle school student remembered. I'm sure it wasn't out-and-out letting him get by without learning, but I must have shown some mercy. And because I showed mercy, he showed mercy. It reminds me of the parable in Matthew 18:21-35. A servant who was forgiven a great debt turned around and showed no mercy to someone who owed him a little. not good. We have been forgiven the greatest debt ever, and so we should forgive and show mercy to each other.

When we do, God blesses us with his mercy and forgiveness, which is everything we'll ever need. And every now and then, when we do it expecting nothing in return, we are surprised by how it comes back to us.

It did for me, and I am grateful. And I'm renewing my tag on time next year.