Sunday, April 15, 2012

3 am and thankful

I have never been more thankful for the mercy of God. I am unbelievably grateful that Jesus came to bear the penalty for my sin.

And why now? Well, it's simple. It's because I've never felt more keenly what the agony of hell must be like. As I lay here in my bed for the last three hours, my tooth has been throbbing with pain. I have taken as much pain medication as safety permits, and it still hurts. Bad. I really can't remember experiencing anything like this. And so of course I can't sleep.

I normally wouldn't burden you guys with this - and that's not my intent. Rather, I want to share what I have been thinking about while trying to sleep. So here it is: I started thinking about whether I could bear this until Monday, when my dentist can see me. And my next thought was, well, of course I can - 'cause what if it wasn't 'til Monday, but forever? What if there were no dentist, no remedy, nothing but pain, pain pain? Forever?

Of course, a throbbing tooth is only a fraction of what hell would be like. And 36 hours is only a fraction of eternity. But it's enough to get my attention. More than enough.

And so I am doing my best to turn this agony into a positive. Instead of dwelling on how long it is 'til Monday, I'm focusing on how soon Monday is compared to eternity. And I am thankful that because of Christ, I don't have to worry about that.

Thank you, Father!

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