I don't think so...

Ok, during a search on the iPhone Livestream app, my friend Steve came across this page (above). Notice the 3rd link from the top.

Some broadcast called "God's Healing Power". And to the left a note for the use:

OFFLINE

Can I just say....never. It's always online, always there for us.

The power, that is. Not the video stream.

Got it.

Same language...sort of

I love visiting London, for a lot of reasons. I was reminded of a small one a few minutes ago in a Caffe Nero near our hotel.

I love how the US and the UK have different phrases or words for the same thing. They go to the water closet instead of the bathroom. The first floor in their elevators is designated with a "0" instead of a "1". Their signs use different expressions:

• "Way out" = "Exit"
• "Mind the gap" = "Watch your step"
• "To let" = "For rent"

Well, I saw one today that I had never noticed. Here it is:

Yeah, I thought it was only considered litter if you threw it out on the ground. Otherwise, isn't it trash? Or garbage? Or even, as I've seen elsewhere here, rubbish?

Not wrong, just different. And kinda fun.

Wo zai na li?

It was an early morning in a northeastern China city, a little over two years ago. I had spent about a day there visiting friends who were living there at the time. I was staying at a flat about 15 minutes away from theirs, and I had no idea how to get there. In preparing for the trip, I had learned a little Mandarin, but not enough to give good instructions to a taxi driver. So I was very dependent on my friends to make sure I could get back to them.

On this brisk August morning, Clark and I were going to catch a plane to Beijing to do a little sightseeing. He had arranged a cab to come and pick me up, take me to his place, and then take up both to the airport. So at 6:15 am, a van arrived...my transportation. I threw my luggage inside and jumped it. I said "Ni hao" (hi) to the driver, but that was about it.

Well, after about 10 minutes we suddenly pulled into a parking place and stopped. We were in some downtown district and I had no idea where we were. Where were we? Why had we stopped? Where were my friends? Did I even get in the right cab? After all, it's not like the driver and I were able to discuss it. Dang!

I had no clue what to do. What to say. How to find out what the heck was going on. I was in a foreign country where I spoke very little on the language. So I blurted out the only thing I could think of. Amazingly, in Mandarin:

Wo zai na li?

That is, where am I???

I don't know exactly where that came from, but when I got over my..um...discomfort with the situation, I was pretty proud of myself. When I panicked and blurted something out, it was actually in the right language!

Well (fortunately), the rest of the story turns out not to be nearly that suspenseful. Turns out, the guy was stopping at his cab company's office to switch cars because he didn't need a huge van for just Clark and me. He called Clark's wife Laura (who speaks excellent Mandarin) and explained the whole situation to her and then handed the phone to me so that I could understand. We changed cars, picked up Clark, and headed to the airport. Beginning an awesome three days where I got to see:

...the Olympic Stadium...

...Tiananmen Square...

...the Great Wall...

...and many other awesome sights. We had a great time and I will never, ever forget it. I will also never forget that moment of panic, that moment when I realized that I was totally helpless and needed my "peng you" (friend) to rescue me. These kinds of adventures are the stuff life is made of.

Can't wait for the next one!

"Well, then I'm gonna say no"

First...yes, it's been a while since my last post. Almost a year ago I promised that I wouldn't blog just to be blogging; I would make sure I had something to share. Thus the drought. Anyway, now I have something to share that that was pretty funny. At least to me.

So earlier this week I had to fly to Richmond, VA for work. I flew from Atlanta to Richmond on the same flight with my friend and fellow actuary Lee - we were both headed there for the same meeting. I had checked luggage and Lee (who had not) went to get a rental car while I picked up my bag. When I got to the rental car counter, he had a big grin on his face. I had missed a really amusing conversation.

The car was with Advantage Rental Car, a fairly small and low-budget company without many vehicles there to choose from. So Lee and the rep at the counter had agreed on a particular car early in their conversation. After having all that set, the guy asked him, "Would you like to add satellite radio for $5?" At which point Lee asked if it was in the car they had already selected. "Yes."

Amused, Lee responded, "We've already picked a car. What if I say no?"

The answer? Well, the car would have the satellite radio anyway. At which point my friend said, and I still laugh thinking about this, "Well, then I'm gonna say no."

How funny! You ask if the customer wants to pay for something that he's going to have whether he pays for it or not! Yeah, I think no was the correct answer. But the funniest part, according to Lee, was the look on the guy's face. Apparently, nobody had ever said that before. He didn't know what to say, so he just stared with a confused look on his face.
_______________________

How often do you ask questions where the answer doesn't matter? I know I do it. A friend calls and tells me his car broke down and he's stranded. "Do you want me to come get you?" Well, duh! That's why he called me right? I'm sure you can think of your own examples. Maybe life would make a lot more sense if we would think a second or two longer before we spoke.

But maybe a little less funny.

Iced maybe, but cold?

Ok, I think we all what they mean. This gas station/convenience store probably has started selling iced coffee.

But that's not what it says. For me, the sign conjures up images of a cup of coffee that's been sitting around on my desk for an hour or so. Ughhhh!

So here's a thought...if I want cold coffee, I can let it sit around on my desk all by myself. And it won't be very good.

Here's your sign....

Things that make you go hmmm...Oct 2011 edition

Ok, I know what you're thinking. What is so unusual about this sign and why does it rate a blog post. Well, it's not what it says, but where it says it.

So where do you think I saw this? I'll give you a moment to guess, and then you can scroll down to the answer.
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Give up? It was on the inside of the door to the men's room in our hotel lobby Monday. Inside. The men's room.

So I see it and experience a moment of panic. Am I in the wrong restroom? Nope. I know New Orleans is a strange town sometimes, but I'm really hoping they don't have a problem with men being pregnant.

I'm still trying to figure out why it was there. Just as you're probably trying to figure out why I would take a picture in the bathroom. Oh well, I guess we're all a little strange.

Ummm.....

Yes, I'm just that dumb.

This morning as I was getting ready for work, I was trying to "double task". I was packing and loading up the car for this weekend's trip to Tuscaloosa. Yes, another football weekend, and as always I was a little excited.

Part of the prep routine is getting the car ready to take my dog Elphie along. I have a protective covering for the back seat that hooks over the car's headrests, and it makes for a comfortable ride (I think; Elphie has never actually told me so) and protects the car. So I folded the back seats down and got ready to hook in the covering. But when I got ready to hang it over the back seat headrests, this is what I saw:

Where is the headrest?? Yes, the headrests were missing. How the heck could that be?

I looked in the floorboards. I looked in the trunk. I tried to figure out how in the world a pair of headrests could disappear. I don't even know how to remove them myself. And why? Did someone break into my car and steal the stinkin' headrests, all while leaving other valuables in the car? Not likely. And yet...where were they? I was almost late to work trying to figure it out.

I called my dad from work and told him and he was as puzzle as I. The word quickly spread amongst the family and the bewilderment was universal. I texted my niece who rode in the back seat on a recent trip, and she had no idea. 

And then, as I was telling a friend at work (I have no shame), it hit me. The picture from the morning entered my mind. and I felt like an idiot.

Here's the deal: The seat cover is designed to protect the seats, not the flat surface that's created when I fold the seats down. The reason the headrests were "missing" is that I had folded the seats down! And in doing so....duh, the headrests got folded down with them.

Yes, I can be just that dense. I know...you're not laughing with me, you're laughing at me. And so am I.

So here are the seats, folded back up where they belong:

The mystery of the "stolen" headrests solved, and all is right with the world.

And Elphie and I are in T-town, ready for tomorrow's game. Roll tide.

Yes, I'm a doofus

So yesterday I was reading, hanging out at home, and kind of watching a movie. Kind of. I was barely paying attention, but it was on. The movie was an old espionage thriller, Clear and Present Danger starring Harrison Ford.

Well, I got a phone call and hit the pause button. It's a wonderful invention on a DVR, right? When you need to talk, you can hit the mute button to silence the TV, or you can just freeze the whole dang thing. I froze it.

After I was done talking to my dad on the phone, I look back at the TV and saw this:

And at that point I had a total brain spasm. I stared at the screen trying to figure out what had happened. It appeared that my TV screen had become a computer monitor. And what was that message about? Was my computer printing something? What was the "Clark file"? And most importantly, how the heck did my computer suddenly gain the ability to use my TV as its monitor?? It's not rigged for that.

I should be embarrassed to admit that some 30 seconds later or so, I figured it out. Of course (as I'm sure all of you know) that was not an image from my computer. The "TNT" logo in the corner should have been a pretty decent hint, no? Anyway, I just happened to freeze the movie at the exact moment that it was showing a computer monitor from the movie.

Duh!

So I still don't have a way to connect my computer to my TV as a monitor. It would be really cool, especially to watch games on ESPN3. But I'm not there yet. Despite my goofy brain freeze yesterday, yes - I will have actually hook something up to make that happen.

Oh well........